A beginning is a delicate thing….

New years signal the beginning of lots of new things for people. It can mean that you are working on starting a resolution to exercise, eat healthy, meditate, or any of a dozen other good practices. If you are one of these people you know that this can be a tough time for motivating your energy and building up to start this new set of behaviors. This shift can be hard because, as humans, we seek natural homeostasis in our worlds. We like things that are stable and steady, this state is managed internally and driven by deep patterns in our subconscious.

It often feels really hard to make these changes and I see folks struggle every year with the shift to incorporate a new set of behaviors and wonder “What is wrong with me”. I want to be the one to tell you this year: “Nothing at all is wrong with you”. You are going through a normal set of struggles associated with the process of breaking up your neuropathways. To make these kinds of deeper changes in your behavior, you are upsetting a delicate balance your brain holds to manage your overall level of stress. Any change, even positive ones, can provoke these kinds of disruptions and cause you to struggle. When we cause these disruptions in ourselves it can provoke strong feelings that seem to come out of nowhere.

I have seen over the years that when we make changes for the good in our own lives that cause unexpected stress and feelings people can sometimes start feeling a great deal of shame. These feelings bubble up and cause even more emotional struggles than you might feel from the change itself. It can be tough to combat the internal messages of “This should be easy, why is it so hard for me”. From years of working with people through changes in their lives, I have come to see these beginnings as delicate times, periods when we want to make positive switches but struggle with the strong feelings that mount as we confront the balance that has kept us in old behaviors for so long.

As you navigate through these initial periods, take time to reflect and slow yourself down. Put a name to the struggles by labeling the feelings and remind yourself that change takes time, and that you are just starting. Like we are kind to young people who are starting something new, grant yourself some grace and patience.

Be well, friends.